


Take My Whole Life, Too

by serohtonin



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serohtonin/pseuds/serohtonin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will and Emma’s nuptials sparks a painful conversation. Title from the song "Can't Help Falling in Love."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take My Whole Life, Too

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of these characters but if I did, Kurt and Blaine would have a discussion before letting their relationship progress any further (I'm holding out hope that they still do). This is what I wish would happen after the choir room cliffhanger in 4.22. Also, there's a vague reference to a minor season 5 spoiler if you're paying attention.

Kurt gazes at the newly married Mr. and Mrs. Will and Emma Schuester, with watery eyes and a huge grin, because he can't help crying at weddings, especially impromptu ones.

"Oh, Blaine," he whispers affectionately, like he had so many times before, when they stood here together as a couple, before Kurt left and Blaine wrecked everything.

He's going to make it right, though, he thinks, clutching the ring box in his hand tightly.

Kurt blindly reaches for his other hand, so he takes it.

"I mean, it's not what I would've chosen," Kurt goes on, "but, it's so... _them."_

When Blaine catches Kurt looking back at him, his soft smile still lingers.

Blaine smiles in return. "I know what you would have chosen. A grand affair, with--"

Kurt's grin fades. "Blaine, please don't."

Blaine squeezes Kurt's hand. "Sorry. I can't help it."

"I know," Kurt lets go of his hand, "but if you think anything like what happened at the non-wedding is going to happen between us again, it's not."

Blaine's heart drops; the ring box almost does, as well. "That night was pretty amazing, though," he still manages to murmur in Kurt's ear flirtatiously.

Blaine's fingers brush against Kurt's when he tries for Kurt's hand again, but Kurt pulls away and balls his hand into a fist.

"Yeah, it was," Kurt glances down Blaine's figure, and licks his lips. He clears his throat, and looks away again. "But we shouldn't."

"Why not?" Blaine straightens up. "We could have that again. Maybe even more that," He nods his head toward the exuberant married couple. "I mean, you told me about what happened with them, and they have their happily-ever-after now."

Kurt stays silent for a minute. "That's different."

"Not really," he continues, determined to convince Kurt of how strong their love is. "They found their way back to each other. We can, too."

He glances around the room, filled with all the other current glee club members, and a few former ones. "I don't want to talk about this here, Blaine."

Blaine turns toward him, still holding the box behind his back. He slides it into his pocket before Kurt can see, breathing a sigh of relief. "Later, then?"

But Kurt looks at him curiously. "Maybe. I don't know. Are you okay? Because between today and that dinner the other night with those nice, old lesbians, you've been acting really strange."

"I'm fine," he lies through a strained smile. "It's exciting, knowing that, with all the new legislation being passed, I could possibly put a ring on someone's finger one day."

"Yeah, it kind of is," Kurt tentatively grins, but it falters, and his eyes begin watering again. "I--I need to--Excuse me."

Kurt rushes out of the choir room, and Blaine follows, hoping that everyone else is too wrapped up in celebration to notice what's happening.

"Kurt, wait," he calls down the hallway.

As he approaches Kurt, he hears, "I don't need you running after me. I'm not some damsel in distress."

"But I didn't mean to--" Blaine starts futilely, because he knows he _did_ mean to jog Kurt's memory of what they are to each other. Even more than that, he intended to publicly declare his devotion to Kurt in front of everyone.

He still wishes he could.

Maybe he could at least salvage something from this mess.

"I'm an idiot. I'm sorry," he grabs Kurt's arm, forcing him to spin around and face him. "I'm sorry that I still love you, that I never stopped, and I probably never will."

"Blaine," Kurt warns.

Blaine doesn't care that this isn't romantic, it isn't what Kurt deserves in a proposal. He deserves more than Blaine could ever give him, but still, his chance is about run out the door and away to New York.

He can't let that happen.

His thoughts jumble together as he kneels down, taking Kurt's hand in both of his. There are so many words he could say: how much Kurt has changed his life, how empty his existence became without him, how deeply Kurt has rooted himself in Blaine's heart.

He settles on something simple:

"I--You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and it took me screwing up to see that, but I can spend the rest of my--of _our_ lives making it up to you, if you'll let me."

"Blaine, what are you doing?" Kurt's eye widen, tears spilling over his cheeks.

"I'm," he swallows, pulling the ring out of his jacket, "I'm asking you, Kurt Hummel, if you'll take me back, and possibly do me the honor of becoming my husband."

"You're insane."

"I realize how backwards this is. It was never in my original plans, but, neither were a lot of other things, so I was hoping--"

"You were hoping that you could magically erase everything that happened, and we could go back to where we were before you _cheated_ on me?"

Kurt wipes at his cheeks with his other hand.

"Kurt, I know we have issues, but--"

"We're not even--You're not my boyfriend, Blaine. Not anymore."

Blaine's sweaty hands start to slip, but he grips tighter to Kurt.

"No. We're much more than that. We always have been. You--You're my soulmate, Kurt. I know you feel that, too."

Tears sting at Blaine's eyes as he continues, "Remember, we were standing right here, when I promised to always be there for you, to always pick up your phone call no matter what I was doing, to surprise you, to--?"

"Of course, I remember, Blaine! I can't forget! That's the problem," he yells. "You can't just get down on one knee, and expect me to listen to you, like before. We're--I'm not in high school anymore. I'm not," he chokes out, "I'm not yours anymore."

He closes the box, and puts it back in his pocket. "That's my fault. I know it is. We can talk about that."

"I don't wanna talk about whose fault it is. I just want to move on, but you keep pulling me back."

Blaine stands up, snatching his hand away from Kurt's. "Do you, really? You're acting like I'm alone in this, Kurt," he snaps, "like I'm manipulating you into being with me."

"Right now, you are. You're hoping I'll give in to the magic and the romance, and that I'll want to _marry_ you? I'm finally at a point where I can look at you and not feel how badly you hurt me, but that doesn't mean I want to be with you again. That doesn't mean I've forgotten what you've done."

"I know I've been selfish. It's only because, without you, I feel like I'm drowning, like I'm not myself, and at Christmas, when you looked at me, I thought that maybe we'd be okay. And then, on Valentine's Day, when you touched me, I felt like I could actually breathe again. I don't want to lose that, Kurt. I don't want to lose you."

"It's a little late for that, isn't it?"

Staring at Kurt's tear-stained face, a memory of a painful conversation they had before Kurt left flashes in his mind:

_"I promise, you aren't gonna lose me."_

And then:

_"I told you, I'm never saying goodbye to you."_

The future was still so uncertain then, but Blaine trusted Kurt's words, felt grounded and safe in those arms.

Though those promises may have been broken, he knows they can start over, and make new ones.

"No. It's not too late," Blaine finally answers, "as long as I'm breathing, it's not too late. I'm not giving up on us."

"Maybe you should," Kurt shakily responds.

Blaine cups Kurt's cheek. "I know we hurt each other, but I don't want you to move on. I want us to move on, together."

Kurt closes his eyes against the gentle touch. "What if we did? What, then? I'm still in New York, Blaine, and you're still here."

"Not for much longer." Blaine runs his thumb across Kurt's cheek in an effort to wipe away the tears. "We can make it this time."

"It only took a month for you--for us to fall apart. I couldn't stand it if we messed this up again."

"So, you're saying there's a chance?"

Kurt pauses before replying somberly, "I wish there wasn't."

"Baby," Blaine whimpers out quietly before he can stop himself.

Heavy silence lingers between them.

Blaine's thumb strays to Kurt's mouth.

"Kiss me," Kurt demands, his eyes wandering to Blaine's mouth.

"What?" Blaine's brow furrows.

"Kiss me, before I change my mind."

Blaine, never one to refuse anything of the man before him, obliges. He presses his lips, and his body, to Kurt's own harshly, conveying all the feelings built up inside him since they've been together like this.

Kurt kisses back with equal force, gripping Blaine's lapels and pushing him into a nearby wall of lockers.

Blaine's back digs into the grates, but he doesn't care, simply deepens their connection by slipping his tongue inside. He grasps at the back of Kurt's neck, his fingers quickly skimming down Kurt's back, and taking their natural place at Kurt's waist.

He squeezes there as Kurt kisses down his neck, Kurt mumbling what sounds like, "I'm sorry."

Blaine wonders what exactly he means, but is too thrilled to care, wants to feel more of Kurt's skin, so he untucks Kurt's shirt, thumbing at his hip.

Kurt kisses up to his jaw, his hands reaching under Blaine's jacket to get closer to his warmth.

"Kurt," Blaine breathes, "Wh-?"

At first, Kurt doesn't answer with words, instead turning Blaine's head, so their lips meet again.

Then he says, "I love you, too, you idiot." He kisses Blaine's mouth again, sweetly this time. "You should've never, _ever,_ doubted that, and I don't need a proposal to trust you again. I need time. That's all."

"So, can we try again? Please."

Kurt smirks, taking hold of Blaine's left hand. "I think you should hold onto that ring. You might to get to put it on someone's finger one day."

He chuckles, his eyes still watery, as Kurt puts himself back together. "You mean, maybe someone like a brilliant New Yorker who matches your ring size?"

"Yeah. I would've said fabulous, but yeah."

"That, too." Blaine looks at him seriously, searching over Kurt's face. "Where does that leave us, then? What are we?"

"We're getting there," Kurt remarks nebulously.

"Hmm, I'll take it," Blaine grins, taking Kurt's hand. "We should, um, we should get back before they start looking for us. They might think that we found a broom closet or something."

"Because of the last wedding?"

"Because of the last wedding."

"Let's give them something to think about, then."

Kurt drags Blaine down the hall.

Blaine follows. "But I thought--"

"You thought wrong. You always think too much. Just, let it be, for now, alright?"

"Alright. Can we finish what we started out there?" Blaine asks once they reach their destination, an open, abandoned classroom.

"That much I can promise," Kurt assures, pulling him in and closing the door.

Blaine still hopes they can promise much more to each other soon, but for now, Kurt's mouth on his own, and his honest admissions, will have to be enough.


End file.
